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Nurturing Positive Relationships With Extended Family Members

Nurturing Positive Relationships With Extended Family Members

October 10, 2023 by Leave a Comment

Maintaining healthy relationships with extended family members—such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, and in-laws—can be tough. According to an article published by YouGov, 46% of Americans don’t have any extended family members living in the same city or town as them. Unfortunately, for many people, this distance can make it difficult to nurture positive family relationships.

If you’re looking to create healthy relationships with extended family members, you may want to consider implementing one or more of the following tips:

  • Schedule times to catch up. When you don’t get to see your family members every day or even every week, it can be easy to lose touch, which can make you feel less like family and more like acquaintances. Plan regular visits, videochats, and telephone calls, and make an effort to remain free of distractions during those times.
  • Establish boundaries. It may seem counterintuitive, but setting boundaries can help families feel closer in the long run. For example, if you don’t feel comfortable having extended family members stay at your home for more than a few days, communicating that before their next visit can help prevent resentment from forming. 
  • Avoid taking sides. Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try to keep the peace, it’s inevitable that family disputes will pop up from time to time. While you should certainly stand up for what you believe is right, in many cases, exercising empathy and remaining neutral can help prevent hurt feelings. You should also avoid talking about family members behind their back.

Take the First Step Toward Positive Family Relationships

If you’re interested in building healthy relationships with extended family members, one of the best things you can do is speak to a therapist. Contact us today and request an appointment at a date and time that’s convenient for you.

Filed Under: family, relationships

Nurturing Positive Relationships With Friends

September 26, 2023 by Leave a Comment

The importance of having positive friendships in your life cannot be overstated. Healthy friendships can help you feel happier and more self-confident, reduce your stress levels, and prevent you from feeling lonely or isolated. When times are good, friends can help you celebrate. And when times are bad, they can help pick you up and provide a kind shoulder to lean on.

Unfortunately, for many adults, it can be tough to make new friends and even more difficult to ensure that those friendships enhance their lives. With that in mind, here are some tips for how to build healthy relationships with friends:

  • Be an active listener. Communication is key to a positive friendship, but many of us aren’t great at listening, which can leave our friends feeling ignored and unvalued. When talking with friends, make an effort to face them, focus on what they’re saying, and ask follow-up questions. You should also avoid interrupting them and zoning out as you plan what to say next.
  • Offer advice without judgment. At some point throughout the course of your relationship, your friend will likely come to you for help with a problem. While you should be honest about how you feel, you should also try to empathize with them and respect that that might have a different opinion.
  • Make time for each other. In today’s busy world, it can often be difficult to schedule time with friends, but getting together is crucial. If you live near each other, pencil in a weekly dinner or even a monthly coffee date. Or, if you live far apart, plan a time to talk on the phone or, better yet, videochat.

Start Building Healthy Relationships With Friends

If you struggle to maintain positive friendships, you’ve come to the right place. We have extensive experience helping patients nurture healthy relationships with friends, and we’d love to do the same for you. Contact us today to schedule a therapy session.

Filed Under: friendship, relationships

The Powerful Benefits of Forgiveness

July 18, 2023 by Leave a Comment

There is a very old saying that says, “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” This is a warning to people to not act out in anger or resentment because you only end up harming yourself. Over time, these feelings of resentment can build until the individual develops feelings of depression or anxiety.

While forgiving others who have hurt us isn’t always easy, in the end, it greatly benefits our mental health and overall well-being. To be clear, forgiving others does NOT mean you agree with or condor their poor behavior. And it doesn’t mean you are announcing that your feelings don’t matter. Forgiveness simply means letting go of the negative feelings that are holding you down and causing you prolonged distress.

Again, forgiving someone who has hurt you isn’t easy, but it will lead you to a sense of peace and joy. Here are some steps you can take to forgive others:

Process Your Pain

Have you really faced your pain and processed it? You’ll need to do this before you can let those feelings go. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings deeply and fully. Cry, yell, hit your pillow, do whatever it takes.

Forgive Yourself

It takes two to tango, as they say. While we can easily point to others and blame them for the breakup or ugly incident, the truth is, we were there also. We played some role. Even if it was to retaliate in the moment and to show our own ugliness. It’s time to forgive your own humanity and any wrongdoing to yourself or others.

Try to Understand

True forgiveness is impossible without a sense of understanding. You can try to forgive, claim you have forgiven, only to have those negative nagging feelings crop up again and again. When we try to understand why someone has acted the way they have, it can wipe out the negative feelings instantly, almost as if by magic. 

A critical parent acts the way they act because they, too, were the victim of a critical parent. An overbearing boss is dealing with a personal tragedy at home. Our cheating spouse is self-sabotaging his or her life because they have incredibly low self-esteem and do not feel they deserve happiness. Life is complicated and human beings are even more so. Try and understand why someone has hurt you. You will be amazed at what this magical A-ha moment can do for you.

And if you’d like to speak to someone and get some guidance and much-needed perspective, please reach out to me.

 

SOURCES:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/complicated-love/202006/the-healing-power-forgiveness

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-power-of-forgiveness

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-benefits-of-forgiveness-3144954

Filed Under: forgiveness, relationships

The Importance of Independence in a Relationship

July 26, 2022 by Leave a Comment

When we first fall in love with that special someone, we want to spend all of our time together. In fact, we seem to feel better when we are with our significant other.

This is the infatuation stage, and admittedly, it feels really good. But enduring relationships move past this stage and into a place of mutual respect and care. This will require each partner to give the other space to be their own individuals.

Why Individuality and Independence are Important in Relationships

First, what does it really mean to be an independent individual? It means you know how to be your own person, whether you are single or in a relationship. It means while you make the effort to make your partner happy, you also ensure that you continue to do the things you enjoy that bring you happiness.

The following are just some of the reasons why there should always be independence in a relationship:

No One Likes Clingy

When you lack independence and don’t have a solid sense of yourself, you can come across as “clingy” or needy. If you want to be around your partner 24/7 and they are wanting space, your neediness can drain their energy.

Mutual Growth

When the two of you stay independent, you give each other the opportunity to grow as individuals, which then can lead to growth as a couple. 

Mutual Support

Independent people are strong people, and strong people can be counted on when it matters most. When you are both strong individuals, you can lend that support when the other needs it.

Need Help Getting Your Independent Spirit Back?

Most of us demanded our independence when we were in our teens and early 20s. But life happens, and we can often lose that independent spirit and lose our own identities. If you need some help reconnecting with yourself so that you may one day enjoy a beneficial partnership, please get in touch with me. I’m more than happy to discuss how therapy can help.

SOURCES:

Filed Under: couples, relationships

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    "Working with Expand Mentoring as a therapist provides my clients the extra support they need to practice/follow through with their personal goals and positive coping skills they are learning in therapy."~Professional : J.S. MA, LPC
    "Working with expand mentors means I am collaborating with a team that offers skillful, caring, and coordinated care to my clients; meeting them in their world, working organically to connect and expand treatment far beyond the therapy office."~Professional : B.W. MA, LPC
    "Expand mentoring was there for my student as she transitioned from a therapeutic wilderness program home. It was this structure that allowed my student to reintegrate back into the family and community instead of going to a therapeutic school."~Professional : KM- Ed Consultant
    "The talent and skill in connecting with adolescents and young adults is without comparison."~Professional : A.C. MA, LPC, PsyD
    "Expand mentors have a balance between accomplishing tasks with the clients they serve while always seeking to deepen connections with the clients."~Professional : N.M. MA, LPC
    "Our mentor has done an amazing job working with our son. He came into the picture at a critical time for him and has been a huge part of all the positivity in his life right now. He's coming up on 1 year sober (his sister's birthday) and is started a full-time job."~Parent
    "Thank you to Expand... [Our son] has come a long way. He is now college bound to CSU this fall. He has been working at Target for several months since graduating last December, and today has his interview for a summer position at Calwood as a camp counselor. He is even attending Prom next weekend with his friends from his old high school, an experience which he really is happy that he won't miss out on. And most importantly, it has been a joy to have him back here at home! All the best to the Expand team. We appreciate you being here and offering this opportunity to those in need."~Parent
    "Thank you for providing a wonderful service. We deeply appreciate the support we received from Expand, especially from [our mentor and parent coach]. Our family is much stronger because of the support we received when we needed it most."~Parent
    "To say that we are grateful for the gifts of his presence in [our son's] life doesn't begin to capture the depth of our gratitude! [Our mentor] has played a pivotal role in [our son's] healing and in [our son's] remembering his inner light, beauty and goodness. Truly, their relationship has been life affirming! It has also been beneficial and a pleasure for us to partner with Landon along the way. As parents, we could not have asked for anything more!"~Parent
    "Thank you, Victoria and Expand Mentoring, for your part in guiding and coaching [our loved one. The mentorship we received was] an exceptional example of Expand's mission "... to help clients discover, develop, and move towards the life they have always wanted."~Parent
    "Expand was lovely to contract with, they were open and reflective the first time I spoke to them. The organization is well run, communication is clear."~Parent
    "Expand was lovely to contract with, they were open and reflective the first time I spoke to them. The organization is well run, communication is clear."~Parent
    "Our mentor was instrumental in getting our daughter back on track. She is warm, yet firm and tireless in her approach to helping young people. I would encourage anyone who needs help to call Expand Mentoring."~Parent
    "We absolutely love working with Expand Mentoring. They have bent over backwards to find the right fit for our son. The entire team really cares and is there to help. They have also been a great resource for other coaching we were seeking as well. Cannot recommend them enough!"~Parent
    "I was very burnt out from how my life was going. Expand helped me get encouraged and rejuvenated to meet my life goals."~Client
    "[My mentor] is over the moon incredible! Changed my life with her Gift of Structure and accountability-buddy partnership in the course of three months. We are cruising diligently and steadily on the path of my life's work and dreams, steady on our feet, and in our rhythm, threading the dreams one stitch at a time; wonderful."~Client
    "I enjoy working with Expand mentors because they help guide me in life while I'm still in control."~Client
    "Working with a mentor helps me see possibilities for my life that I wouldn't have seen otherwise."~Client
    "Expand Mentoring was an integral part of my healing process and allowed me to work with someone who I saw as a wiser, older version of myself and helped me break through the challenges and obstacles associated with recovering from a very difficult time. I am eternally grateful for having had someone to lean on, ask for support, and look up to as I navigated a major life change. I highly recommend Expand Mentoring to anyone whether they need support in recovering from a crisis or simply want an extra layer of support in their lives."~Client
    "I'm sitting here thinking back to all that you worked with me on and through, and I don't think I ever truly thanked you for everything that you were there for me on. The most incredible part of the whole thought is from getting to know you through our work together I can say without question in my mind that each and every one of your clients feel the exactly same way. Your love and compassion seem to know no bounds and the world will forever be changed for the better because of you and the positive energy you spread. So thank you! You frickin rock!"~Client
    "My defiance and need to continuously sabotage my future was compounded with years of substance abuse. Expand Mentoring took me on after other mentors found me very difficult to work with. I grew to have a tremendous amount of respect for my mentor because she exemplified patience & understanding as well as refusing to let me fall short/manipulate my way out of responsibilities. She contributed in the success that I am currently experiencing (I'm holding a part-time job, taking college classes & have developed a better relationship with my family - I never thought this was possible). Without having someone believe in my potential & guide me along, I would still be very lost today."~Client
    "Expand Mentoring's talent and skill in connecting with young adults is without comparison. Over many years working with my mentor, I have watched the mentors form lasting and transformative bonds with even the hardest to reach youths. The mentors are truly gifted at what they do."~Client
    "I've met a lot of people throughout the years of treatment and I think it is safe to say I have yet to encounter somebody as challenging as my Expand mentor. I have also yet to encounter somebody so determined and passionate in their career. I'd forgotten that people were still cheering me on, and my mentor will never let me forget that again."~Client
    "In my experience with treatment and seeking personal growth I have had good therapists and bad therapists, as hard as it is to say more bad therapists or counselors than good ones. Before meeting my mentor for the first time I had never had a "mentor" in the technical sense that she was not a therapist but more of a friend and guidance counselor than anything. In my opinion the reason that my Expand mentor is so good at her job is because she is able to connect with the young adult she is working with. Another reason is her out there style and personality, she is not afraid to share her experiences, whether good or bad for the bettering of you. Personally I met with my mentor twice a week for almost 6 months and even though every time I dreaded going and sitting there with her discussing hardships with my family or talking about my grades in school, she was always there for me. Even though I would never admit this in person, because this is anonymous, she did help me change my view and outlook on life and my family drastically. Without her I sincerely believe my family and I would not be on talking terms."~Client
    "You feel like you've known the guy for years! My mentor is a great guy."~Client
    "In 2010, I made the decision to get help because I was addicted to substances that led me to make poor life decisions. I got the opportunity to work with Expand Mentoring and my life turned around. It was not easy and I left for a period of time, but my mentor helped me make better decisions, fix old behaviors, and I am alive. I have seen my mentor weekly for almost four years now and am grateful to have her in my life. She never hesitates to pick up the phone, she shows up, and she is a smart and amazing role model who has helped me become a better person in countless ways."~Client
    "Mentoring has been vital for me in helping me separate my apathy in the past by instilling a new found desire to succeed."~Client
    "Over a period of three years, my mentor patiently guided me to a healthier, more independent place. The tools and skills I learned from her gave me the confidence to challenge myself and be successful. She was there for me to rely on when I was lost, and her support gave me the strength to decide I wanted a better life for myself. When I was looking in every direction for the answer to, "How do I get better?", my mentor gave me the greatest gift my helping me find it in myself."~Client
     

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