How to Prevent Burnout

How to Prevent Burnout

Not many people get through life without experiencing burnout at some point. Whether it’s from working more than one job, taking care of a sick loved one, or juggling family life while going back to school, burnout is real, and it negatively impacts your life and health.

Common Signs of Burnout

If you think you may be experiencing burnout but are unsure, here are some of the most common signs:

  • Physical and mental exhaustion
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • A need to isolate
  • Fantasies of escaping
  • Irritability
  • Frequent illnesses such as colds and flues 

5 Ways to Prevent Burnout

Exercise

You know exercise is necessary for your physical health, but it is also fantastic for your mental and emotional health as well. Physical activity helps our bodies secrete feel-good hormones, which give our mood a boost. So be sure to commit to exercising at least 3-4 times a week.

Get Enough Rest

It’s essential to get enough restorative sleep each night. Sleep not only helps our bodies build and repair new tissue, but it helps us be able to feel calm and focus. 

If you have trouble getting enough ZZZZZs each night, skip caffeinated beverages past 2 pm, ban smartphones and other electronics from the bedroom, and establish a relaxing nighttime ritual like meditation, reading, or taking a bath.

Validate Your Feelings

“Keep calm and carry on.” That’s a fun saying for a throw pillow, but it’s not always the best advice. Sometimes it’s important to admit that you are struggling and that you need a break.

Remember to Play

Just because you’re an adult, that doesn’t mean you don’t need some downtime to just have fun. Whether you want to play a sport, enjoy a hobby, or go to the theater, be sure to make time each week to enjoy yourself and your life.

Ask for Help

During stressful times, it’s important to reach out to others for help. Sometimes all we need is a friendly ear to listen to what’s on our minds and hearts. Let your friends and family know you could use a little support.

If your stress levels don’t seem to go down, you may want to consider working with a counselor who can help you navigate your feelings and offer coping strategies to deal with the issues you have going on.

If you’d like to speak with someone, please reach out to me.

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The Truth About Perfectionism

We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And I suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist.

But as human beings, we can never reach a state of perfection because we will always be a work in progress. Perfection indicates a finality – a finished product – but we as humans are always growing and changing.

What is Perfectionism?

Many people view perfectionism as a positive attribute. They believe the more “perfect” they are, the more success they will have in life.

Perfectionism is NOT the same thing as always doing your best. It is important that we always do our best. By doing so, we can experience healthy achievements and growth. But perfectionism takes this concept to the extreme.

People with perfectionist tendencies often have self-defeating thoughts and/or behaviors that actually make it HARDER to achieve their goals. Perfectionism also can make the individual feel stress, anxiety, and depression.

Signs to Look For

Most human beings, from time to time, will strive for perfectionism in some aspect of their life. As an example, that “perfectly moist chocolate cake” I mentioned earlier got that way because the person who baked it was trying to get everything JUST RIGHT as a gift for someone’s birthday.

But there are those people who are “full-time” perfectionists. They strive for perfection in all aspects of their life.

Here are some signs you may be a perfectionist:

  • You don’t like to attempt tasks or activities unless you feel you can complete them perfectly.
  • You are end-oriented, meaning you focus little on the process of creating or learning something and put all of the emphasis on the outcome.
  • You cannot see a task as having been completed unless it meets your perfectionist standards.
  • You tend to procrastinate because you don’t like starting a task until you know you can perfectly complete it.
  • You tend to take far longer completing tasks than others. This can be problematic at work.

Getting Help

Again, perfectionism is not the same thing as doing your best. It is a condition whereby the individual is almost incapable of feeling joy or pride at what they accomplish because in their own minds, they are never quite good enough.

If you believe you may have traits of perfectionism and it is causing you stress, there are things you can do to change your behavior so you can live a healthier and happier life.
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.

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The Power of Vulnerability

We live in a society that rewards those with courage and valor. We are taught from a young age that it’s good to face our fears, for doing so is often the catalyst for powerful and lasting change.

And yet, how many of us allow ourselves to be vulnerable?

Think of the amount of courage it takes to allow yourself to be in a position where your heart might get broken. To say “I love you” first. How much courage does it take to put yourself out there and make new friends? Go for that promotion? Rely on others instead of only ourselves?

The Benefits of Vulnerability

We know the obvious benefits of courage. Wars are won, bad guys are put in jail, people are saved from burning buildings. But how can we benefit from being vulnerable?

More Intimacy

Opening up to another human being and sharing your deepest emotions is what ultimately builds healthy and lasting relationships. When we expose our authentic selves, we set ourselves up for potential heartache, yes, but also for ultimate connection.

Better Self-Worth

Being vulnerable also allows us to accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all. This helps us to STOP comparing ourselves to others and experience a tremendous boost in our self-esteem and self-worth.

It Begets Compassion

Getting comfortable with our own vulnerability means we can also be comfortable with others’. And this means, in those times when the people in our lives show their vulnerability to us, we can respond with compassion.

Start the Journey

As they say, every journey starts with a single step. Your journey toward embracing your own vulnerabilities will also start with a single step. This may mean spending more quiet time alone. It may mean the next time a good friend asks, “How are you?” you tell them the truth.

It may also mean digging deep and uncovering some old wounds and darkness that you have been ignoring. And for this part of the journey, you may want to consider seeking guidance from a trained therapist who can offer tools and advice.

If you’d like some assistance on your journey, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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Benefits of a Mental Health Day from Work or School

We’ve all had those days when the alarm goes off and we lie in bed, feeling depleted of our energy, and maybe even our good mood. We think to ourselves, “I’m not really sick, but I just need a break from real life today.” While taking a sick day is common when you are feeling physically unwell, what’s not as common – but perhaps should be – is taking a mental health day when you are feeling mentally and emotionally unwell.

Now many, if not most, companies do offer their employees personal days with no questions asked. But many people save these days for what seem like real life emergencies. They feel guilty if they use one of these days to simply rest and relax their mind.

The truth is, taking a mental health day from work or school can be extremely important for your overall well-being. It can help you avoid burnout, improve your mood, help you get some much-needed rest, and rejuvenate you so you can tackle “real life” once again.

Signs It’s Time for a Mental Health Day

So how do you know when you are really in need of a mental health day and when you’re just feeling a bit lazy and unmotivated?

Stress

You’ve been feeling overwhelmed and irritable.

You Just Feel… Off

Sometimes we don’t feel like ourselves, but we can’t quite put our finger on what’s wrong. We know we feel anxious and like the world is a bit too much. This is a sure sign you need a break.

Getting Sick More Often

Are you dealing with a cold that “just won’t go away?” When we are stressed, our immune systems become compromised, and it’s harder for us to fight off the common cold.

The bottom line is you should never feel guilty for taking some time for your mental health. I encourage you to take a mental health day every once in a while. Sometimes it’s the absolute best thing we can do for ourselves.

And if you find a mental health day didn’t quite do the trick, you may have more going on in your life that requires more hands-on treatment. If you like the idea of speaking with someone about whatever is bothering you, please get in touch with me so we can discuss treatment options.

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How to Deal with Social Anxiety after COVID

It has been a very long year. Lockdowns and social distancing have had a profound impact on our hearts and minds. But thankfully, as the vaccines roll out and the country begins to slowly open back up, we are beginning to return to some kind of normal.

While many people are jumping for joy with the idea of taking part in normal social gatherings and getting back to life pre-pandemic, there are also those individuals who are feeling a bit of social anxiety at the same time. This is to be understood.

Being social requires a set of skills. We learned as children how to interact with those around us. As we grew older, we learned even more of the intricate and complex social structures, rules, and more. Being away from society for a year or more has put a kink into these important skills for many of us. You may have learned how to ice skate as a kid, but if you haven’t been on skates for years, there’s a good chance you’ll break some bones!

Here are some tips for dealing with any social anxiety you may be experiencing:

Be Kind to Yourself

Many will find it absolutely exhausting trying to relearn all of the social skills they haven’t practiced in some time. It’s okay, you’re not the only one who is struggling right now. Just be kind and gentle with yourself.

Stick with Your Own Comfort Level

Some people may be feeling anxiety right now because they are unsure of how safe it is to be out in the world. If we’re honest, the talking heads on TV seem to give us mixed signals about what is really going on. All you can do is set your own boundaries and determine what you feel comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable giving or receiving hugs, don’t feel pressured by someone else. Respect your own boundaries and comfort level and take things day by day.

Take Things Nice and Easy

If you haven’t worked out physically in some time, you wouldn’t, on your first day at the gym, run for an hour on the treadmill and THEN lift heavy weights afterward. You’d take things slow so as not to hurt yourself.

Apply this same logic to your social life. If you feel out of shape socially, then take things slow. Don’t suddenly fill your social calendar with all kinds of activities and events. Start with a small gathering and go from there.

Speak with Someone

If you find your anxiety isn’t dissipating after some time, you may want to speak with a counselor. They can give you the tools to help you get out of your rut and back into a healthy and joyful life.

If you’d like to speak with someone about your anxiety, please reach out to me.

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Could Your Family Benefit from Family Counseling?

Does your family love and support one another unconditionally? Do you have fun together? Do you find talking with your spouse and children is easy and effective?

If you had to really pause and think about your answers to these questions, there’s a chance your family may not be as cohesive as you once thought or hoped. And that’s okay, not every family acts like something out of a 1950s television sitcom. Most have their own fair share of problems.

If you’ve never considered working with a therapist before, here are some benefits of family therapy:

Improved Communication

There aren’t many families out there that have flawless communication skills. It’s actually far more common for family members to feel that they can’t open up to one another. This of course leads to a disconnect between spouses or parents and children.

A family therapist can facilitate effective and respectful communication between your family members.

You’ll Understand Your Kids Better

Do you find yourself going slightly insane in an attempt to understand why your one child lies so much? Are you scratching your head as to why your other child is constantly hitting your first child?

We all think because our kids are made from our DNA that we’ll have some magical insights into why they do what they do. Nope. The truth is, most parents are in a constant state of stupefaction over their child’s behavior.

Family therapy will help your child feel safe enough to express their thoughts and feelings, giving you many A-ha moments.

Help Your Kids with Self-Esteem Issues

Healthy self-esteem is the foundation for a successful life. But unfortunately, many kids grow up feeling less than confident or good about themselves. A child with self-esteem issues may be the product of a parent with self-esteem issues.

The great news is, a family therapist can help both children and their parents build up their self-esteem to become happier individuals and, a happier family.

Help You Deal with Grief

Whether it’s a divorce or the loss of a loved one, most families are ill-equipped to handle loss, especially sudden loss. A family therapist can guide each one of your family members through the stages of grief so they can heal.

If you’re interested in exploring treatment options, please get I touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

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5 Signs Your Teenager is Asking for Help

The teenage years can perhaps be best described as a time of physical, emotional and social tumult. Changes happen so rapidly in adolescence, that neither child nor parent really knows how to cope.

Teenagers often become more detached from their family during this time. In fact, parents become less important in their teenager’s eyes, as their life outside the family develops.

While this is a normal and healthy part of development, it is not an easy place for parents to be. They must be able to let go of their children while still recognizing the warning signs of adolescent depression. This can be difficult because some moodiness is normal during the teenage years.

Here are 5 signs that your teen may be suffering from atypical depression and asking for help.

1. Mood Swings

As I just mentioned, thanks to the cocktail of hormones suddenly surging through a teenager’s body, it is quite normal for them to have mood swings. So how can you tell what’s normal and what is a sign of mental illness? You have to trust your parental instincts here. You know your child better than anyone and should be able to recognize any significant shift in mood. Particularly look for mood shifts that seem to have no root cause.

2. A Change in Behavior

It is normal for a teenager to have a certain kind of behavioral change. Normal changes include challenging authority a bit more and claiming their independence. What’s not normal is for your child to suddenly start presenting as a different person to you. This can be a sign of depression.

3. Substance Abuse

Most teens experiment a bit with drugs and alcohol. But you should see red flags if your teenager is chronically abusing substances and coming home drunk or high on a fairly regular basis. It is especially important to act immediately if your family has a history of substance abuse.

4. Self-Harm

Those teens who are experiencing significant emotional turmoil may choose to take their emotions out on themselves by cutting, hitting or hurting themselves in some other manner.

5. Talk of Suicide

While teenagers can definitely be prone to drama and overreacting to events, no parent should ever ignore talk of suicide. With teen suicide rates on the rise, particularly among girls, any mention or attempt should immediately result in professional help.

If you or someone you know has a teenager who is showing one or more of these signs and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I would be happy to discuss how I might be able to help.

Celebrating Gay Pride Month by Focusing on Mental Health

June is gay pride month, a time when people come together to celebrate the freedom to be themselves. And while the dancing, partying and colorful festivities are a wonderful way to celebrate, it’s also a time to commit to being your best self. And that means taking care of your overall mental health and well-being. 

We have come a very long way in this society and members of the LGBTQ community have more freedom to express who they truly are and who they choose to love more than any other time in history. And yet, as LGBTQ members are also members of the human race, they will always experience challenges and traumas, love and loss, illness, depression, anxiety and more. And sometimes, they may have emotional wounds to work through that come from early life shame and guilt connected with their sexuality or gender identity. 

What is LGBTQ-Affirmative Therapy? 

LGBTQ-affirmative therapy takes a unique approach to healing because it focuses not only on acceptance of who an individual is but also integration of their sexuality or gender identity into the rest of their life and relationships. 

Trained therapists who specialize in serving members of the LGBTQ community help them to feel more comfortable with who they are and what they desire. In many cases, LGBTQ therapists are either LGBTQ themselves or have family members or friends who are. This gives them an intimate view of and understanding of the challenges LGBTQ members face. 

This month, it’s important that members of the LGBTQ community make a commitment to their mental health so they can not only create positive change in their own lives, but also in our society as well. 

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A Guide to Successful Interventions

If you have a friend or a loved one that is struggling with an addiction, then you know firsthand how helpless it can feel to watch them suffer. That’s why many loved ones decide to take action and have an intervention for their loved one.

Interventions can be very powerful and effective when they are handled correctly. In this blog post, I want to go over some important information you’ll need to conduct a successful intervention.

When Should an Intervention Be Used?

Typically, interventions are used when addicts cannot or will not help themselves from relapsing into dangerous or harmful behaviors. There are other interventions called crisis interventions that are used when an individual is experiencing an immediate harmful crisis, such as a suicide threat or attempt.

Do Interventions Work?

There isn’t a lot of data available regarding the efficacy of interventions, most likely because effectiveness is hard to define. What mental health experts do know is that addicts are more likely to seek treatment if they have undergone an intervention. This, however, does not mean their treatment will be effective. That is completely up to the individual and the work they are willing to put in.

Having said that, strong social support is beneficial in convincing an addict to WANT to get sober. So those friends and families that are likely to set up an intervention will also be likely to lend their support throughout treatment.

How to Find an Interventionist

It is not recommended that family members conduct an intervention by themselves. You will definitely want the assistance of a professional interventionist who can help you plan a safe and effective intervention. This person will facilitate open and constructive communication between everyone and prepare your group for potential outcomes.

To find a qualified interventionist, it’s a good idea to speak with someone at a local reputable rehabilitation center. You may also want to look in your area for a therapist that specializes in addiction.

If you live in the area and would like to speak with me about helping you and your loved ones plan an intervention, please get in touch with me.

 

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Drug Abuse in Men: Reasons, Signs, and Treatment

While both men and women suffer from drug addiction, the reality is that men tend to suffer at a rate much higher than women. The result is in this country, we are seeing an epidemic of men with drug addictions.

Why are the Numbers So High?

To really understand the impact of addiction on men, it’s important to look at the statistics. Data put out by the Substance Abuse And Mental Health Administration reported that roughly 67% of all substance abuse admissions in the United States are male. It should also be noted that these numbers hold up, regardless of age, sexual preference, or ethnic group.

But why are these numbers so disproportionately high? One explanation might be that men naturally partake in riskier behaviors. Men tend to be the ones that drive fast, scale buildings, and experiment with illicit drugs.

Men also will turn to drugs to self-medicate their depression and anxiety. While men and women both suffer from depression and anxiety, men don’t typically seek help from a counselor. There is a sense in many men to reach out for help is an act of weakness. And so they go it alone, using alcohol and other drugs to soothe their pain.

Signs of Drug Addiction

Now that we understand a bit more about why drug addiction is a bigger issue for men, let’s take a look at some of the most common signs:

  • Drinking or using drugs on a daily basis.
  • Drinking or using drugs alone.
  • Hiding their drug use.
  • One or more DUI.
  • Sudden problems at work or with friend/family relationships.
  • Spending time with new people who seem to be a bad influence.
  • Sudden weight loss or gain.
  • Losing interest in hobbies and other activities.

If someone you love is showing one or more of these signs, it may be time to intervene and speak to them about a treatment plan.

Treatment for Drug Addiction

Rehabilitation for drug addiction is a complex thing. Our loved one will not only have to detox his body to remove every trace of the drug; he’ll also have to commit to therapy to understand the psychological and behavioral reasons behind the drug addiction.

Therapy can be done one-on-one or in a group setting. And of course, he will need to join a support group such as AA to make sure he stays on track.

If you or a loved one are struggling with drug addiction and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. My goal is to help you navigate the healing process so you can live a happy and fulfilling life.

 

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